One of the biggest mistakes I have made in my life is allowing people to stay in my life far longer than they deserved to.
I am the opposite of a person that holds a grudge. I forgive much too easily, but never forget which can throw me back into the grudge category if I'm not careful. It's easy to hold a grudge, but it is far more difficult to forgive, try to forget and continue as it always was. I usually am the type of person who gets screwed and for the sake of skipping out on an annoying argument, I forget it and move on. I use that tech with my husband. Shhh. If a dear friend and I happen to roll into one of those "annoying" arguments and not talk for months, I can forgive so easily, laugh it off and let everything go out and in the open. But other situations can be a bit more complicated and difficult to address. When a dear friend wrongs you specifically and does not offer an apology as the incident was not recognized, then I have a problem. A serious problem. My forgiving nature ceases to exist at that point though I will still try and communicate as though nothing happened. My eyes are rolling on the other end of the phone, I'm telling my bestie EVERYTHING about it and ultimately let it invade my mind and life. How ridiculous is that?! This may be my greatest weakness because what I should do is be direct to the accused while remaining calm yet firm and discuss the actions or words on their behalf that I have found offensive, annoying, rude or just plain cruel. Instead I shut my mouth, talk A LOT of shit and bottle it up til the day I EXPLODE <-------It's not pretty!
To allow people such as the one presented in this last example to remain in my life creates a thick negative energy around me that I can't rid without ridding myself of the person entirely.
Here are some life tips that I and other I know should really work on:
- Be Loyal to those you love
- Be true to yourself
- Don't throw loved ones under the bus whilst searching for acceptance
- Be kind
- Be thoughtful
- Really and truly try to understand others' perspectives and opinions
- Don't put your loved ones down
- Don't allow jealousy to overpower your words or actions
- Be honest when confronted
- Sincerely apologize to the offended
- Swallow your pride