Tuesday, September 20, 2011

best advice for people pleasers

Hi, my name is Kaitlin and I am a people pleaser. I am the first to apologize for something that I didn't do or for things that definitely don't require the word "sorry". I once got into an accident and ran out of my car yelling apologies to the person who ran the red light and hit me. I say "sorry" more than I use the word "the". I am constantly saying yes to things I don't want to do and most of the time I find myself doing things I don't really want to do. I'm so concerned with how others view me and trying to force people to like me that I find myself constantly stressed out and worried over shit I cannot change. So the other day when I was venting to the hubs AGAIN about some insignificant person or problem, he told me this: "There will always be some people who just don't like you, no matter what you do or how hard you try." This simple statement blew me away for some reason. The first words out of my mouth were "How the HELL can someone not like ME?!" Then I realized I had a serious problem... I was sincerely appalled by my reaction to this statement and have since then decided I needed a change so I set some rules for myself.
  1. The term "sorry" will only be used when I need to apologize for something I have done wrong.
  2. If I do not want to do something, I will simply say no.
  3. If I have a problem or take offense to something someone says, I will be prompt, direct and kind when I confront them.
  4. I will not talk ugly about people behind their backs.
  5. I will not just agree with someone to avoid an argument. Instead, I will kindly disagree and LISTEN fully to what the other has to say.
  6. Finally, I WILL NOT ALLOW SOMEONE'S DISLIKE FOR ME TO CAUSE ME STRESS.

4 comments:

  1. i love u and i too have to say that i would like to be on my way to recovery. lol we should start a group. :-)

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  2. I love you too!!!! We totally should! PPA...people pleasers anonymous! :)

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  3. Agreed! I am working on this as well. Ahhhhh the power of saying NO! I read this amazing book called Entre Nous that talked about not having "what everyone else thinks" on your agenda! Most of our problems come from worrying about OTHER PEOPLE instead of ourselves!

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  4. I'll have to check that book out, Jess! Not literally check it out like from a library...LOL okay I'm not funny...

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